Well, is there something specific I can share that would be helpful? It's not that I am closed off to sharing about me and what I still feel, it just doesn't seem that important I guess. I am not saying I am not important but I am still in C'ing so I guess that is where I do most of my "talking".
I still deal with lots of sadness and hurt and sometimes the betrayal is overwhelming to me. I think the hardest part of all of this is my H is not who I thought he was and even worse, he was the one person (aside from my mom and sister) that I never thought NOT to trust. For reasons I cannot understand he is still very mean to me and simply acts like he doesn't care all the while telling me how great and happy he is. He still acts like his affair was no big deal and that hurts me.
While I don't like it, I have accepted there is nothing I can do about that other than to keep on going. Sometimes it is hard. I have an AMAZING family and very good friends. Thankfully I have never been afraid to do things alone like go places or travel so that is not an issue for me.
I do casually go on dates from time to time but I can't even imagine being in any kind of serious R right now.
Some days I feel like I have been punched in the gut 500 times. I still get scared when I have to go to the dr. and my H is not there. And yes, from time to time I wonder if he thinks of me or misses me.
Told ya... hard on the outside, soft on the inside
