My gosh, LBS are SO vulnerable! I am still vulnerable. Y'day was an amazing weather day and I was walking my dog and for the first time in a LONG time I wondered what my H was doing. And I felt sad.
A year ago I would have allowed that sadness to consume me and most probably lead to a huge anxiety/panic attack. Not last night though. I went and hung out with my neighbor and we laughed and laughed. He just got a new juicer and we were making juice out of EVERYTHING!
Accepting *this* is the hardest thing I have ever done. I include having to make the decision to take my father off life support in that list. At least with my dad I knew how very, very sick he was and in reality the machines were keeping him alive. While it hurt, it was the most humane thing to do. Being left, an affair and a divorce is not humane IMO (under most circumstances).
Detaching is a VERY long VERY slow process. Or at least it was for me. The legal part certainly helped because obviously that was not good but the emotional side of things crawled at a snails pace.
I sometimes wonder if I should stay on this forum because honestly, sometimes it does get painful to keep reading about this stuff. But I then remember how many people helped me. I know how eternally appreciative I am for their support, guidance, tough love and encouragement.
I do get sad, angry, frustrated and a whole slew of other emotions from time to time and you will too. It's normal and healthy not to bottle all those emotions.
I used to get FURIOUS when people would tell me "detach, detach, detach" but really, it's all you can do.
I am a hard ass on the outside but inside I am filled with soft gooey filling
