"I wish you could know how sorry I am that things turned out this way. Never in my worst nightmares would I wanted this.
I hope you are well."
I think this is fine. I am Catholic, or was raised Catholic but not practicing. (but it's one of those things you can never really escape IMHO!!) Good Catholics out there please chime in but here's my 2 cents.
I would write out everything, don't edit yourself, just pour your guts out. Get out everything - EVERYTHING - you want to say. Then put it away for at least several days. Then go back & read it. If it still feels like you want to say all that to him, post it here first. Here's why:
What if you pour your guts out & X doesn't "forgive", or respond or gets angry, starts a fight, etc., etc.?
I just don't want you to be waiting for validation from him. You don't need it. He doesn't deserve to give it. Yes, I know the R failing may have many reasons, nothing is ever all one person's fault.
But you say you don't have any expectations from doing this, yet it sounds like you expect forgiveness, or some type of response from him. I'm afraid if you don't get it, or get a negative reply you will feel much worse.
If it's forgiveness or grace from God you're seeking, then that's between you & God, and X doesn't need an email sent for that.
