"All rise"

[june72]

FIB,
I get what you mean and I am sorry for the h@ll that you have been through. I think bitterness is a normal feeling. How could a person not feel that. There was no A in our marriage so things were a million times easier to repair. There still is that feeling for waiting the other shoe to drop though. I hope it fades with time.

I have not been reading your sitch long enough to gain enough insight on things. But I do wonder about something. I wonder about your wife, if behind all that anger is incredible guilt on her end. I wonder if she finds it easier to find the faults and shortcomings of others than to look inward at herself. I mean playing the victim is the easier than to own up to your own sh@t, right? I have a feeling ever after the D she will still try to find way to blame YOU for anything that goes wrong in her life.... *sigh*

Anyhow, it is a selfish person who pretends that this doesn't affect the children detrimentally.

Who knows, maybe she has some diagnosable personality disorder like NPD or Borderline. I mean with out a doubt something is off.


Anyhow, I am glad to see you are persevering. I agree with everyone else. Considering the contentious nature of everything, that speaking to the children separate seems best, IMO. She can't call the shots anymore. She can't demand you speak to them together. And of course if you disagree with her. She will see you as being antagonistic. No win situation, always.

You can never reason with the unreasonable, that is for sure. I like to remind myself of that.

Best
June