I agree with Robx. I think in your attempt to get her to be open with sex talks, you gave her "permission" to have sex before she's grown. The fact is, she may already have done this and she's "testing" you to see how you will really react to the news.
It was very difficult for me to think of my child in the same way. Not that I did not love her or anything like that, but once I discovered what was going on....I just knew she was not that innoncent girl anymore. I was very disappointed in her immature, unguarded actions and she knew I was not happy about it. There were a lot of health risks at stake for her (long story), but of course, she was terribly in love. That was suppose to make everything okay.
I do believe teens need boundaries and you need to let her know what you believe is right or wrong for her life. Yes, she will make the decision in the end,but she should have no doubt where you stand, and I think you have given her an invitation to have sex.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
