If there were peace and cooperation between the two of you, maybe.
In your case?
Pardon my language Frank, but there is no way in hell I would have any conversation with the kids in her presence. Especially about such a life-changing topic.
Yes, let her have her talk.
Then you can have yours when the time is right for you.
I can't even imagine what a clusterf*%# it would be to try to explain this to your children together.
I like the tone in your posts recently. You sound fortified.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."