Guess now it's MY day for people inferring something I never stated.
I never said to be "aggressive." I suggested that he maintain BOUNDARIES -- an opinion that I stand by even if it should turn out that his wife is clinically depressed (and I happen to think she is).
Too much of modern psychology/psychiatry, in my opinion, is just so much "excusing poor behavior." I even started a thread on this recently, after George Will wrote a really good column about it.
Puppy
If his wife weren't showing so many symptoms of a serious problem I would agree with you. But if there is depression I really think you gotta cut their behaviour some slack ... its just words. If you accept that its the depression talking then you can ignore it.
My wife has depression and she has really bad days where she can barely think straight... and yes, she can be verbally dismissive or even hurtful. I just IGNORE it. A few days later when its easier to deal she APOLOGIZES for it all. She KNOWS it isn't helpful but she also owns it later... So when I hear something hurtful from her I just take it as depression talking and I HELP her as much as I can.. I don't pick a fight...
I think OIN may do best to use this same strategy.
Wayward's DO get MEAN, thats part of the problem. It makes it VERY difficult to WANT them BACK when they act like jerks... But in OIN's case I agree with him... just let her take the phone and look at it... I suspect she's feeling anxious and uses the phone to settle her nerves.
My goal in posting here is to help OIN get her some professional help. I don't think his wife is just being rude for the heck of it.. particuarly given her history as being loving and kind this is very much out of her character. The sleeping all day, the emotional outbursts, the out of character behaviour... I think she needs treatment for depression.
I think MWD has a chapter in her book in that OIN if you want to have a look.
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Yes pup, I agree some people just use all of this as an excuse to be mean... I don't think this is the case here, not consciously at least.
I don't think this woman's nature is to be mean. I think this woman has a chemical imbalance and it isn't being treated.
