I'm suggesting that her crappy, disrespectful behavior toward you (this constantly picking up your phone and checking it) continues because you allow it to. Also the passive-aggressive stuff (joking with you one moment, going totally b*tchy on you the next).
She will begin to respect you once you begin to respect yourself -- no sooner.
Do you REALLY think this is "working"?? By what definition do you think it is working?
Puppy
I dunno PDT, I think his wife has clinical depression. I think a lot of the erratic hehaviuor is from depression here, particularly the cyncial negative commentary.
I don't know if you've had to deal with that, but getting aggressive doesn't impreove that situation.
If his wife is in pain from depression then her negativity isn't disrespectful as much as it is just a manifestation of how much she's struggling.
Right now with OIN's FIL prepping a new home for his wife I think OIN would do best to be as helpful and lovign as he can right now.. and she has shown good responses to that.
I really don't think her looking at his phone is a bad thing.. if that's what she needs to set her mind at ease then I would think just let her do it.
The key thing I think is OIN finding a solid family therapist and going. Once he sets that example open his wife may go.
Once his WIFE is with a professional that FT may reccomend treatment for depression. OIN's wife getting treatment for a possible chemical imbalance is in my opinion the most important goal here... not worrying over a phone or about negative outbursts... I think those are just symptoms.
This COULD be withdrawal from the emotional affair too.. it hasn't been that long and she did express frustration over that ending...
But with all the sleeping too I think is depression.. i have some experience with depression so its not hard for me to spot it when I read about it.
And yes OIN, being treated like crap for years and getting no recognition will cause a chemical imbalance in the brain making it very difficult to feel anything otehr than miserable... I am NOT saying you caused it... your wife should have spoken up more to warn you... she allowed you to disprespect her too... if she had spoken up more this may have been easier for both of you right now...
YOU should have been more respectful to her in the past, but so should she have... she let you treat her like dirt too... you both made the mess.
But right now getting her in to see someone for all of this is I think the key goal here... she CLEARLY WANTS to talk to someone...
