Don't really have an answer for you there, Burt ol' buddy, other than I do believe it's true that "We teach people how to treat us."
If we're married to a princess, then that's partially (mostly?) our fault.
You need to decide if this (equal, or at least some FAIR delineation of financial responsibilities and help) is one of your core "Boundaries of Personal Integrity," or whether it's more of a minor "nuisance" or "aggravation" issue to you. In ANY event, I think you need to push back if she states her position disrespectfully, or rudely (Hope4Us had some real good success with this in his sitch, as I remember it).
