WAW/MLC/Runner

[Jasmine]

I am still a bit confused as to who is having the crisis here, you or your H. Or both.

As I am doing the work I am thinking we BOTH are having our MLC!

Personally, I think that your first step is to work on yourself and worry about the M later. If you D and reconcile or if you don’t D and reconcile, you have still reconciled and honestly, that can’t happen until you have both made some changes.

I am starting to see this to being the best option as well

Why are you dark?

I am trying to do the work and not drag him into my drama till I have a clear head of what I KNOW what I want. I don't want to play the emotional games of the back and forth and back and forth. I want to sit down with him and honestly be able to communicate with him my wants and needs. He does need to know and I will relay this to him.

Jasmine, one other thing, and not trying to be mean---why the sudden change of heart? Seriously...

Nothing mean taken...an honest question...this hasn't come on suddenly...I wanted to be a cake eater. One fulfills lifelong goals and the other was just helping me to feel better IN THE MOMENT. The honeymoon phase with the OM has long since past and I was able to see his true colors unfortunately at the cost of my M and my H's feelings. BTW, the OM was having a MLC too.

Thank you very much Cat and OldPIlot. Thanks to all of you for giving me the condensed version of goal setting and listing the questions to ask myself. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with the information in the book.