I am always the optimist, when she worries about money I always say that it will come and it will be all right, and it always does turn out ok, the money comes in and we are OK for a while then it gets tight again and she freaks out about it, then we go through it again.
She wants total security of knowing that money will always be there, and I try to give that to her, but when it gets tight, she accuses me of not working hard enough or knowing this was going to happen and not taking the steps necessary to stop it.
We have never been more than 10 days late on anything, and I come from a wealthy family that would never let us go hungry, but I know she is looking for me to be the man that provides for her and make her feel secure.
By the way, after the money came in, she is back to her old self, had a great weekend, talked and laughed like nothing was ever said and were right back to being great.
Guess I will chalk it up to finacial stress on her part, but I would like her to own a little bit of how we get to these mini-crisis.
You have diagnosed her twice now with the Princess title, It is funny, she never asks for anything like jewels or cars, so I never saw her like that until I look at what I write.
Been having a great time with my wife lately until last night, Quite of bit of money has come in so, there is no longer the financial stress there was a couple of weeks ago, of course with business and the economy, another crisis could hit at anytime. We went out to dance lessons for the first time last week and are going again today this afternoon, we had a fantastic time last lesson. I never knew how much fun that could be. It is something I would have never done before the bomb.
Back to last night, wife came in from working out and seemed a little down, and a little more quiet than usual. Nothing big, and she said there was nothing wrong when I asked. My question is, do others here in Piecing ever get scared of what might be happening in their head? I know it is wrong and not to mind read, just looking for how you cope or combat it.
OK, bad day, I am trying to be the best man I can be, It seems everything is tied around money and that is it. Otherwise we are great, but when the stress of money, end of month type of bills, and it is tight is when, the bad W comes out.
Today, I get a large check that I was expecting and it will get most all of the bills paid (all the important ones) I was quite happy about it but when I came in at lunch she was getting the bills we owed out and I came in and gave her a big hug. Well, I got one of those pats on the back and I blurted out, geez you must hate me or something. She responded, "a little". Wow.
She then said "I hate the situation I am in, always worrying about money." I just said, I am doing the best I can.
I am working the business that I own, and starting another, which I also have been working very hard on, but the payment will not be for another few months, but it will be significant.
I just want to tell her when that money does come in for that new business, I do not want her to say that she was there supporting me all the way!
Gosh damn, she has brought in a total of $300 this year with her art business, and I am working my ass off on two jobs and she blames me when she gets stressed about money.
Sorry venting, my Mom and Dad are taking us on a vacation on Saturday, maybe that will help.
She goes on line and sees a position open (she wants to be a receptionist) and she will just mail them a resume, of course they never call back. She has no idea that the way you get a job is to get off of your ass, go to the place and take the job.
This one has really got me, I am really upset. Where is my partner? Where is the woman, if she is going to stay home, kissing me in the morning and telling me to go get em?
Don't really have an answer for you there, Burt ol' buddy, other than I do believe it's true that "We teach people how to treat us."
If we're married to a princess, then that's partially (mostly?) our fault.
You need to decide if this (equal, or at least some FAIR delineation of financial responsibilities and help) is one of your core "Boundaries of Personal Integrity," or whether it's more of a minor "nuisance" or "aggravation" issue to you. In ANY event, I think you need to push back if she states her position disrespectfully, or rudely (Hope4Us had some real good success with this in his sitch, as I remember it).
I would love to see her reaction if she read this board and saw that we are discussing her as a princess, lol. She would go through the roof!
I'll check out Hope4Us, thanks for being there Puppy. whew!
Oh yeah, I have now realized that the more money in the bank account the more sex I have, right now I am on a pretty dry run. She witholds sex unless there is money I am pretty certain. Of course in her defense she does not feel like having sex when she is stressed about money.
