I need to choose my battles wisely. Arguing about the way she feels or the fact she contradicts herself will only lead to more problems. I am then seen as controlling or jerk. In the past I would have left her stuff on the doorstep (and I had before). In the past I would had spoke over her and shut her feelings out completely (which lead to this and the EA). I don't see it as a pattern but more of repeat of what I did to her. A taste of my own medicine. For it to be a pattern would suggest that I would once again repeat my same old terrible behavior. If I maintain a positive energy hopefully it rubs off on her and her spirits start to rise. She is in a state of depression and wont seek professional help, I can't combat depression and reconcile a marriage with negativity.
DISAGREE. You're quibbling over my use of the word "pattern." OK, so let me put it another way:
How is excusing and allowing her crap behavior toward you now, just because she allowed it from you towards her in the past, helping?
I'm not suggesting "negativity." I'm suggesting positive, upbeat . . . while maintaining reasonable boundaries about how she is allowed to treat you.
