I'm taking off my ring April 9

[AmyBel]

DBing works!!!!

OK, my marriage isn't back together, in fact it may be coming apart. But _I_ am in a better place, and here's what happened.

Weds night she asked to divorce April 9.
I sent her to her dads house.
I freaked out a little, didnt get much sleep. Posted here and on facebook. Spent the following day crying.

She got mad at me about facebook and retaliated through second life. (stupid electronic media).

We both showed up at our MC at the appointed hour.

She expressed ambivilence. I just asked what she wanted and she could not say that she wanted to end our marriage. Could say it was her proposal, but not what she wanted. Interesting she couldn't say the words.

I had written down and had in front of me 1) listen 2) you are already dead

She started talking about trial separation as an option.

I proposed that we separate. End all marriage related behavior now. I took my ring off my finger and put it on a chain on my neck. I said that AFTER a big milestone in my life (May 15) we could do the interactive stuff around divorce, but that I needed space to take care of myself until then.

She said what do you mean?

I said: You don't go to grandma's memorial service, out to dinner with my dad, to my honors ceremony, etc. We don't act married.

She started crying. She is really missing our relationship already.

By the end of the appointment she convinced me to change the plan from "separation preparatory to divorce" to "trial separation in which we'll work on clarifying what we want re: divorce or reconciliation"

YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT CAKE EATING!

So. Now I just need to keep this DB stuff up!

(Knowing she is going to call the OW and resume at least the EA if not start a PA. I simply refused to make rules for her. I said, however, what you choose to do while we are separated will have an impact on my choices if you want to reconcile.)

Thank you