I began to again to question and believe that God does not hear my prayer, because he is driving the actions that allowed my H to walk away, that allowed the issues of my past to persist. How can he allow this to happen? I am so concerned that God is disappointed in me and my decisions (even recent actions/decisions) and that his WILL does not include reconciliation with my H. How can I have any hope that my M could be saved from D if God is driving and caused the events to take place?
I know some have already replied to this...
God does not drive our will. He does allow things to happen IMHO, but he does not always make them happen. Sin is the reason for our hurt, and we will always have hurt in our lives because of it. Christ is the only answer to sin, and to healing. God sees the full picture, he sees what these experiences can do for us, help us grow, and help us gain understanding and wisdom.
God does not have plans to hurt you but to prosper you. Give him your hurt and believe in his plan. your road may be dark, but if you keep on the path, you will enter into light, and a beautiful pasture.
(((DU)))
I also had to eliminate all contact with my family. sometimes you must do this. just let them know you need time to focus on you, and that you love them, but are distancing yourself away from everyone for this time. It's okay. I'm sorry your dad shared info...I'm sure he is just worried and didn't mean to put more burdens on you.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
All, I have been struggling over the last few days. I sometimes think about jumping off a bridge. I am a very dark place right now. THE IS NO HOPE FOR ANYTHING.
Everything is stacked against me: my H wants and will get his LS and his D, my job is stressful, my family (I know they love me, but I feel pressured). I have no faith and a huge amount of guilt and remorse. ALL of my H's prayers and wants are being answered and I am completely lost and believe that I do not deserve any blessings from God. This is all going to end badly and it will end in D. I cannot and will not live with that thought. I really appreciated the support I received here. I WISh (because hope is dead and praying does not help) that you all experiencing this MLC the best.
Last edited by DestinyUnknown; 04/02/1010:20 AM.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
I cannot do that anymore. I have taken up too much time with 2 very close friends and 2 DB buddies. I cannot interfere in their lives (they may feel differently) and regret that I have knowing that we have all been in the same situation. I am on my own.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
You are NOT alone. DU many people here have come to care about you. No one here even remotely feels like you're interfering with their lives. We're here for each other. Please don't forget that.
You are giving your WH too much space in your head. You are worthwhile and you can turn this around. Maybe you will get D but YOU can be a better person!!
You can do this. You keep saying you can't but look you have been doing it! Stop looking down the road. Worry about right this minute. Yes you will have rough spots but you can overcome those. Put one foot in front of the other.
DU until you make these changes you are right that your WH is sending you a message.
If I told you that if you make these changes WH would come back , and you would live happily ever after, could you detach/NC for the love of HIM.
I think that the answer would be yes. So I am asking you detach/NC and pray. You will be taken care of!
We all understand how you're hurting. WE ALL HAVE GONE THROUGH IT.
We've all hurt so much that we can't breathe, our chest gets sore, the sky is gray. Been there done that. Make it a point to get over it and LIVE.
You want to feel like you have nothing going for you? Tell that to the child with inoperable cancer who refuses to give up. Tell that to the mother living homeless on the street wondering where her kids are going to get a meal. The point is that you have YOU.
You feel like your life has turned upside down? There are people on these boards whose spouses have left them when they have incurable diseases. But they all chose to thrive.
You will do the same. You take things one day at a time. As hard as it seems to be right now, the days will get brighter, your life will get better. Your WAS is a man. Just a man. Not God. Not even a friend. After all, a friend wouldn't treat you like that would he? Remember what it was like when you didn't have him. Remember your dreams your aspirations.
Go out and do something physical, like run. Yell, scream, get it all out. Stop pondering and start doing. If you feel like the waves of despair are going to drown you, choose to fight your way to the surface. Call a hotline, get some meds, in time you will no longer need them.
First thing you do is stop typing. Stand up. Square your shoulders. Take a deep breath. And breathe. One second at a time, one minute at a time. You can do it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I really WANT my M, but everything about this is HOPELESS. I have so much regret and remorse. I know my H is treating me badly and SH$$, it HURTS! He is NEVER going to CHANGE his mind, he is checking in for duty on the 30th of this month and will continue to be stateside until late May 2010. There is nothing my lawyer can do to give both of us more time to think and to cool off. Maybe I need another L, not sure.
My H is protected from suit by the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act (SSCRA) precludes a person in the military from being sued for divorce or otherwise when they are unable to vindicate their rights in court (but it DOES NOT protect the spouse who is back in states). However, because my H is stateside until May 2010, it will be difficult to stop the LS from moving forward. Once this is in place (if my L is unable to delay it), my husband only has to wait 6 months before filing to D me.
So I am UPSET because everything is benefitting him even though HE LEFT me and I did NOT agree and wanted to work on the marriage.
Time is NOT on my side and I have no faith that God wants my M to survive and be reconciled.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
