I am a tad confused on reading some other people's stories. They want their WAS to come back and work on things and to live under the same roof. Isn't that what I should do? I know I am trying to find myself but I also want to save my my marriage. Shouldn't I be doing this work under the "marital home"?
I am one person with a live in.
Having a MLC spouse home is difficult to say the least. And not always the best option for either party involved.
I am still a bit confused as to who is having the crisis here, you or your H. Or both.
Not that it really matters actually.
For you, you might not be able to regain yourself if you are living in the home.
Personally, I think that your first step is to work on yourself and worry about the M later. If you D and reconcile or if you don’t D and reconcile, you have still reconciled and honestly, that can’t happen until you have both made some changes.
Originally Posted By: Jasmine
What is killing me the most right now is being dark when I feel I shouldn’t be.
Why are you dark?
I would actually like to understand this one…
Because if you are the one in crisis, and you are waking up, and you are making changes in your life and really are ending this with the OM, and you do want your H back, he has to know.
He is not a mind reader and if you haven't told him, then really, I can’t blame him for continuing to move forward as if you are getting D’d, because that is probably still what he thinks you want. It may also be what he wants at this point.
I am not saying that that can’t change because he can, but I see you worrying about some of this stuff but unless I have missed something, which is possible, I don’t see anything that says you have told him you might be thinking differently now…So I see no reason for him to alter his path at all…
Jasmine, one other thing, and not trying to be mean---why the sudden change of heart? Seriously...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
