Might not want to pissoff our very own loud mouth brassy blondes around here. : )
Loud mouth brassy blonde here…
Bonehead…
Have a Happy Easter.:)
Seriously, we don’t bite…
Jack is right.
On a lot of levels.
Your H, sounds like he has been confused for a long time.
He established early on that his fidelity is questionable but I must applaud you for staying with him and trying to forgive.
One thing I want to touch on and that is your H’s comments about you yelling at him…
That can stem from two things, either you were/are a yeller…
Or yes he was traumatized by his childhood of abuse. You mentioned they ran from a physically abusive father (which BTW IMO is NOT a bad thing). I can guarantee you, those beatings were NOT delivered with silence.
I am going to bet it is probably a combination of both.
I can tell you that abuse, memories of it, stay with you and affect you, forever....
Also, and please forgive me if I offend, you are Christian. Faith is a wonderful thing and a strong faith will get you through a lot of this.
However, being Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, …in MLC it doesn’t really matter. Their faith is lost during this time.
You are trying to hold your H to a standard that isn’t even possible right now. Most people who go through a crisis lose whatever faith they had in God for a time being.
You H has done a ton of things that are questionable in the moral sense, but if you can’t get past that judgement in your mind, you will never be able to fully forgive him.
On any level none of the behavior in MLC is right, but it happens.
We LBS do have our roles to play in it…often more than we think…
There are no guarantees here…
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
