mud you're a better man than me, because I'd have already been over there and it wouldn't be pretty. I know from personal experience that it would only make it worse.
As hard as it might be you need to handle it peacefully and calmly. Anything other than that will only make it worse for you and your kids.
I'm not sure what you want for your marriage, but if you approach this wrong all will be doomed. It will only push them further away, trust me on this one I know.
Collect yourself, and let the anger die down. You need to approach this, you absolutely can't let this go on. However, please approach this the way I described.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept