Well I'm giving up folks. H told me he has a girlfriend, he will never trust me again and will never come back to me.
My worse self came out, I called my parents and tried to have them listen to the conversation on the sly, H saw the phone and I was skewered. He said that was the nail on the coffin.
He said he had found proof that I was trying to find a way to get more custody of S and felt lied to.
Yelled at me for two hours, finally started making some progress listening to each other, then back to yelling.