My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[Surviving03]

Nicole... I know just where you are at, my H is (or was? not clear if its over) in an EA as well, and I got to a point where after being so sick and sad and worried and desperate to save us, I started to feel like I am SICK of being disrespected, what set it off was I discovered he was calling OW while I was gone to work and I thought that he had stopped contacting her until we had a better idea of what was going to happen with us... and something just switched in my brain and I kicked him out of the house (only last a few nights, but still) and for the first time since the beginning of my sitch, I felt some control and some power and it felt GOOD to realize that I had enough of his disrespect and I realized that I AM better than this behavior and the way I am being treated. I did back pedal a little bit since and get a little emotional and feel a little desperate, but I snap out of it and it feels GOOD... yes, this whole thing still sucks... but it is becoming more and more clear that if I do not back off and let H run this course all by his big boy self, there is NO chance of our M ever staying together... I love the ghandi thing, its so true. Just reflect on what has transpired in your sitch and ask yourself, Dont I deserve more RESPECT than this?? Just as only your H can make himself happy...only you can make yourself happy, we OBVIOUSLY cant rely on our H right now to do that for us... so we gotta do it ourselves... focus on the parts of your life that are not in turmoil and be happy in those things... go dim or totally dark, whichever works for you and find YOU again, not you as his wife but you as just YOU... its not easy, but its a conscious choice to shift your frame of mind and it really does wonders