How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

I did a lot of typing today so I just wanted to recap fr clarity.



- W helped assemble bed set. (PRO)

- W wanted to purchased patio furniture (PRO)

- W then changed mind about patio furniture saying "I didn't want to get it, you have too many bills as it is" after I asked her where she wanted to go look (CON)

- W said "Did you think about how your going to make the mortgage payments once I leave?" (CON)

- W and I went shopping together (PRO)

- W helped pick out new bedding (SOMEWHAT PRO)

- W expressed interest in getting new lamps for bedroom (what for I thought? she is leaving anyway)

- W and I shared some laughs looking at a book in a book store (PRO)

- W and I went for ice cream (PRO)
- W and I rented a movie (PRO)
- W and I dressed the bed (PRO)
- W said she was going to sleep in different room (CON)

- W then contradicted herself and began to setup her side of the bed, which prompted me to say a joke which resulted in an argument of sorts (CON!!!!)

- W stormed out the room and began to clean other room (CON)

- I apologized to W and she said "It's my fault, I did something wrong and that's why you say what you said, just like in the past 10 years its always me doing wrong making you act like this" (CON)

- W said "I am counting down the days." (CON)

- I said "I am going to my parents while you count down the days" and W said "whatever" (CON!!)

- W begins to bring up past (CON)

- W tells me by going to parents I will make matter worse. She
does NOT want HER BUSINESS being shared. I then compared to her A with OM. she responded "That is my business, I found someone I can trust and confide in him" I questions the friendship and the trust (CON)

- W mentioned how she felt depressed (CON)

- I suggested to see a professional by saying "There are professionals who can help and listen not some random co-worker who happens to be a male." W responds with "Yeah they are called DIVORCE LAWYERS! I just need to establish grounds" and I reply "Emotional infidelity is grounds" (CON!!!!!)

- W said she is so miserable. "I go to bed miserable hoping the day would end, then I wake up and I am miserable again." I say "I give you space and object to nothing, how do I make you miserable" W says "Did I say you? stop putting words in my mouth..." she went on to attack me and so I said (regretfully) if it is bad "there is the door" (DOH!! My emotions got the best of me)

- I decided to get my stuff and leave. W said I will only make it worse, I say "I understand what you are saying, but things cannot get better by me staying here" and proceeded to leave.

- I returned, apologized for "same old patterns" and we watch
movie (PRO)

- W and I share some laughs and eye contact during movie (PRO)

- I walked away during movie (CON)

- W took phone and I reacted like a nitwit. (CON)

- I went to my W's "bedroom" she, brought dog upstairs to lay with me. (PRO)

- I apologized for walking away during movie that it was rude of me.

- W fell to sleep on couch.

(PROS:11 / CONS: 14)

Day over, here's to tomorrow...