How to approach W about OM

[MrBond]

"Mr Bond, what on earth is so terrible about cooperating with your spouse when they feel anxious and seeing their husband's phone sets their mind at ease?"

There's nothing wrong with "cooperating" or showing your spouse your phone. The issue is that she is the one who had the A, not him. And even after he shows her the phone (or she takes it which is disrespectful), she still treats him like sh*t.

And besides, the phone is only a part of the larger picture. She hasn't wanted to fess up to what she had done wrong. No remorse, no regret. She's playing the victim. Sure she was hurt in the past, but let's face it. All M are like that. Sometimes you hurt your spouse without meaning to, sometimes they hurt you. But you don't go and have an A because of it. And you definitely don't continue to treat someone like dirt when he's been bending over backwards for her.

My W as well as other WASs on here have done the same. You of all people know that. His W hasn't been as transparent as he has because he hasn't really put her to task.

IMO, it really is time for OIN to take care of himself. OIN, you're just driving yourself crazy and it's not even your drama. She wants attention, fine. But there's a difference between good attention and bad attention. Bottom line is that she told you she was still leaving, okay, so do something different.

You can be friendly, but don't bend over backwards for her. Take care of yourself first my friend. Get yourself strong. Then you can tackle her issues head on and not be second-guessing yourself.