I have absolutely no problem detaching from the emotions of ML at all. I used it purely as a tactic in the past and I am now. I guess that detachment is one of the things that made it work last time. During the last alien episode, H would ML but keep his eyes closed, not touch me at all, just lay there like a fish. I didn't care at all. If I did, it may have hurt me. I was after the bonding chemicals which are released after. Sure, if it was passionate and loving, those chemicals may be stronger but if they're there at all, I'm happy.
One thing I did wonder about is whether if he - in his drunken stupor - thought I was OW, then maybe she got the benefit? It isn't a purely physical thing. If you're thinking of someone else and the chemicals are released, I bet the benefit goes to the person being thought of? Interesting thought, perhaps drunken ML is not a good tactic. Wonder if there's any research.
I asked him to go back and read some things that he had posted on here before about being an alien and thinking OW was his soul mate. Not sure if that backfired or not.
He changed a tire for me today and was in a generally good mood (very rare with me) and looking in my eyes. Just looked like he felt good about himself. Before he left for karate class tonight he stood in the doorway and said he was going to the apt to look for a rent check... which I knew wasn't there and he'd never go for that. I knew he was going to meet with her. I said there's no check there so you don't have to go. He just stood in the doorway looking really sad. He looked like he wanted to say something and really took his time standing there. It almost looked to me like he didn't want to go and there was an internal struggle. He's been staying out all night on Thursdays also, so if there are any praying people out there, please pray with me that he'll return home tonight at a regular hour.
Oh, and he promised that not only would he go to R but he would TRY to actually participate. He said I can't make him and I agreed. I asked if he'd at least give it a good try for the benefit of the 12 years we've been together.
