My advice is for you to sit down and think really long and hard about the exchange... I would offer a sincere apology later on... but you need to come up with something good.
I want you to look at this carefully :
-------------------------------------------- YOU : I'm sorry. It was a joke I did not intended to offend you.
HER : Just like everything else in the past 10 years you do something in response to something I did WRONG right? --------------------------------------------
If you look at that apology of yours, it was more you defending yourself than showing her you understand how hurt she feels. What I am reading here is that she feels like you blame her whenever a problem happens. Your apology above is a repeat of that.
You see, you tell her you didn't want to offend, which implies that SHE overreacted or misunderstood. In short, to her, mind you are telling her its HER fault for not hearing YOU right.
This is a very telling exchange here if its accurate to what was said. She seems to think you redirect mishaps back into her lap whenever you two have an exchange.
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From now on...
If she gets hurt, you could do a 180 and just show her you are thinking about how hurt she feels, don't worry about defending yourself. And yes, to her, "I didn't intend to offend" is you defending yourself.
You gotta really think long and hard about this one to understand where she's coming from.. once you get it... I think you will find a huge light bulb come on there for you.
