I am feeling much happier in myself most of the time now. I am also scared like most of my fellow detatching DBers that I am also becoming so far away from my goal that I won't want it anymore. It truly is a double edged sword.

I found out today that the OM is having a distinctly tough time at work and is being very snappy and moody all the time much to everyone's chagrin. This made me smile, and then I felt guilty for wishing harm on anyone. He is however also still planning exciting adventures away with my wife at every opportunity. Escapism at it's best.

I think some of my mood is also lifted (and my confusion enhanced) due to some attention from a nice woman. I am making sure she is under no illusions about my situation and we are becoming online friends. I need to be careful with this, and so far I think we both are only seeking friendship, although she has so many of the things which I find attractive in terms of outlook in life, hobbies etc. I am aware of my own loneliness and neediness at the moment, and do not want to get in too deep, or hurt anyone. This is tough as many around me are pressing me to forget about the STBxW and move on.

So two women to be remaining strong about now! Life is never uncomplicated!

Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.