Is this piecing?

[flowmom]

H4L, I think this is an area to defuse and not get sucked into.

H4L's H: "this floor is dirty"
H4L: <calmly> "yes, it is..." <then silence>

H4L's H: "how do you expect me to relax when this place is a mess"
H4L: <calmly> "that's up to you" <then silence>

Don't apologize or excuse housekeeping shortcomings. It sounds like he's using it to pick on you and you can set boundaries in an indirect way by refusing to make it your problem.