No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[sandi2]

So when I feel like she's hiding things from me, that's when I get anxious also.

Well that makes sense that it would. Do you think she would try to make it more secretive since you had a lady friend you were dating for a while? You know, to make you wonder if she was dating?

[MrBond]

sandi,

No I don't think she was being secretive because of my lady friend. In fact, she's never asked anything about her. I think she was/is still in the fog of the A so anything I did doesn't really matter. Or she didn't relate that it affects her in some way.

I don't think she's being "secretive" as much as she just tells me the bare facts and doesn't embellish. Over the course of this ordeal, that's how she's been talking to me. Just 'yes', 'no' type answers or one word answers. Now she's actually talking and giving me details albeit very slowly.

I had to learn how to talk to her a different way to get her to open up more. I think basically to make her feel that it was "safe" to open up to me.

Yesterday was a good day. She was a little quieter than she had been the last couple of times, but nonetheless she is talking to me more.

The issue I'm having is whether or not to tell OM's W about his A. He's out of the picture so I don't think he has any more impact on my W, but I'm worried about what he might still be doing behind the scenes to damage my life. I mean I didn't realize that for 2 years he was trying to get me arrested, sued, etc., and I don't think he's going to stop.

His W may know, but I don't think she knows the details. And I definitely don't think she knows about him trying to get me fired a few weeks ago. I need to protect myself and my family from that psycho.

Today I'm taking my W and my kids to see a movie or maybe going to a carnival in town. I'll see if I can get more positive interactions out of her. Sometimes I wish I could just slap the funk out of her.

[pigskin]

sandi,

The issue I'm having is whether or not to tell OM's W about his A. He's out of the picture so I don't think he has any more impact on my W, but I'm worried about what he might still be doing behind the scenes to damage my life. I mean I didn't realize that for 2 years he was trying to get me arrested, sued, etc., and I don't think he's going to stop.

His W may know, but I don't think she knows the details. And I definitely don't think she knows about him trying to get me fired a few weeks ago. I need to protect myself and my family from that psycho.

A tougher call on that now, since he is out of the picture and the affair is busted. Given that he has already proven himself to be a psycho, there is added risk that you going to his wife and exposing him will result in more headaches for you if the goofball tries to retaliate.

Maybe save that tactic for if he ever approaches your wife again, since I'm not sure you'd derive any benefit now, other than your own satisfaction.

[sandi2]

I think I agree with pigskin. Unless you see a tiny sign of him in the works again.....then save it. Do you think he is so messed up that he would still do something to try and hurt you/family since he has nothing to personally gain now?

[MrBond]

pigskin and sandi,

Thanks.

I don't know if he even had anything to gain before which is what is scary. A part of me wants to warn his W to protect her because she is the nicest lady you could ever meet and doesn't deserve an @$$ like her H.

[MrBond]

Okay, so more positives. Over the weekend, my W was over at her friend's house arranging a family yard sale so we didn't see her at all on Saturday or Sunday.

We talked on the phone at night and I basically talked to her and was very attentive. She continues to share alot more which is great. I told her about how I took the girls to a carnival on Sunday and painted a very vivid picture for her complete with colors, sounds and smells, so she could imagine what we did.

She sounded a little sad that she missed it.

Funny thing is that on Friday we took the kids to see the new "Dragon" movie (which is great BTW) and we ran in to one of her friends from work. She introduced me to her as her husband which was the first time I've heard her say that word in two years.

So this morning we had a Parent Teacher meeting with my D's teacher. We were waiting outside for awhile and we had a nice chat. I asked more about her weekend and I even picked up a tea for her at Starbucks.

We actually sat pretty close with each other and I put my arm around her shoulders which she didn't flinch from. So I think she's gotten used to the getting closer part.

The therapist I'm seeing now told me how she had a WAH and that while he wanted to come home, he just didn't know how because of all the shame and pain he caused. Sometimes I wonder if my W is like that.

[MrBond]

I was thinking of inviting W to join Ds and I for brunch on Sunday. We're planning to do Easter Egg coloring and a hunt afterwards at home, but I thought a nice family thing would be good. I'm also going to see if she will join us for Mass. Crossing my fingers.

The interactions this week have been good and we've been talking. She's adding more to the conversations which is good. I was going to see if I can get a little closer to her physically this weekend and see how that goes.

[Wildaces81]

I like your signature Mr.Bond. It very much like the Jedi Code....are you a jedi along with a secret agent?

[MrBond]

Ha! Great catch Wildaces.

It is the Jedi code. When I first came on here I had the Sith code which was more about passion and feelings. The Jedi one speaks more of peace and the future so I think it matches more with my sitch now.

[Wildaces81]

How easy it would be if we just had the force? Would you be light or dark?

I haven't read all of your sitch but it seems like you are leaps and bounds ahead of the game, which sucks because its a game in the first place. I'll keep you in my prayers. Good luck

May the force be with you!