Are regrets when you end a separation normal?

[june72]

I have never had any issues with porn and still do not. I really never cared if my hubby viewed. He was secretive, though. He was hiding it from me about how much he frequented porn sites. And once in attempt to desperately improve out sex life. I told him let's watch porn together to spice things up.

It was a big horrible upsetting event. B/c my hubby was not interested in me at ALL and would only look at the porn. I would try to engage him and nothing. I then started to say- "I'm noting feeling good about this"- no response for him. "You know my body doesn't look anything like it used to anymore, not like those girls" His response, not turning his head to even look at me mind you b/c watching the porn was more important than my hurt feeling, what do you want? You had kids.

It went downhill form there- atomic explosion-worse.
B/c I personally had it. Porn was definitely the preference over me- with out a doubt. I can not compete against porn, I can't. Neither can your wife.


You've said here that your wife is not too intelligent, she is not looking up to your stands, you also were dismissive about her birthing and caring for 5 kids in a short time span by stating the kids are pretty self-sufficient. And now I wonder if oyu have been depriving her of sex b/c it was too much work, she was not making things quick enough for you. She has not been living up to YOUR standards.


Do you get why she would not want to be with you and ask for a S? Do you get her hurt? Do you get why she would no longer want to make efforts to make you happy? You have depleted her "love bank" (read his needs, her needs) in a serious, serious manner make huge "deposits"
back into that bank..

So for today, maybe bring home a box of chocolates or a flower. As soon as you open the door, give her a nice smile and then walk to her and give her a hug. Act happy and pleasant during the rest of the night. Give her a massage at the end of the day and tell her kind words.

This is were you start, and start today.

Oh yeah, and if you already haven't done so. Ask her for your forgiveness. Sincerely ask for it b/c you have DEFINITELY wronged her for YEARS (yes, I understand she has wronged you too, but own up to your own stuff as a man would) Contrition, baby, and lots of it! Once is never enough, followed by changes in behavior and actions.