Thanks surviving for the congrats. Just got my first excellent score ever. I am feeling pretty good today despite the circumstances.
We all know I can't control what's going on, but I can controll that there's two beautiful girls that can't wait to see their dad and that their dad can't wait to see.
the situation will work itself out one way or the other. All I can control is me and how i make it through this.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
I can sqeeze out maybe 8 if I try really hard LOL.
On a side note, my friend calls me this AM and tells me she is pregnant. Asked her how far along she was and she said 11 months LOL. Even then I didn't get the fact that it was April 1st.
I guess there is a reason they us D.A.M. LOL.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
D14 said that W is starting to use it on her. last time my D14 got grounded my W said she wasn't going to compromise because she always has compromised, and once she makes a decision now that's going to be it. We both believe W is trying way too hard.
One thing I've learned is when people change because they see something that is dysfunctional for them, they will swing way over the other way. Like a pendulum swinging.
They will swing back and forth in order to find the center point. So if someone has been a people pleaser they will swing way over and become very selfish and self-centered. When they see that's not working, they will swing the other way.
Sometimes those swings can happen in days, months or even years. It depends on the context of the change.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
She has always been a people pleaser, and now she's going the other way.
I liked that she was going to IC, but this I believe is something she talked her C into. She's really going hard with this one. That is why she brought up to me "this is the old W coming back" in our conversation last weekend.
Poor thing, she doesn't even realize that this has never been her. This is something she's talked herself into thinking she needs to be. My D has mentioned that W has always been strong and more the mean one between the two of us. Unfortunately, that's absolutely true.
She's trying to hard to be something she's not or has never been. it's really sad to see our W be so lost and confused.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
I feel you on that one g450. I haven't been there yet to see interact with others, but she's definitely swung that way with me and her own children.
When she first came to this decision she claimed it was all about the children. The reality of it is that it's not about the children. If it was about the children I assure she wouldn't be doing this. This is 100% about her, and her only.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
How can someone just starting being so mean and hateful. My W has been talking to all her old friends from before we were married. She's been talking, texting, and Facebooking comments to these people. It's almost like she's in high school again.
Her H is in Afghanistan and she can't call, email or post anything on Facebook to me. How can she just reject me like this. How do they lose there mind like this?
I'm finding myself rejected and neglected, like most of us do at this point. I don't want to let this bother me like it is, but I can't help it. I haven't hurt this woman to cause this, but in her mind I've done something.
There's one person in particular to that she's talking to that I want to ask her about. The person that she sen't the post card to a few weeks back. I still wonder what her intentions are with this. I really want to question her about this relationship. Can I?
Last edited by tbart01; 04/02/1006:28 AM.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
I wouldnt question it yet... you dont have anything to back you up that its an inappropriate relationship, so you have to wait... you will just seem nosey and controlling if you question it now. TRUST ME! lol Just keep an eye on it but do not say anything...
I like where you said a few post back: Poor thing, she doesn't even realize that this has never been her. This is something she's talked herself into thinking she needs to be.... I feel you on this one, I feel the same way about H and the person he feels he needs to be now to find his "happiness".
Read DR again before you go home, and as difficult as things will get when you get home, remember it! I was the worst DBer ever! And it certainly did nothing for me but help my H feel more and more reassured that he was making the right decision to divorce.
Take comfort in knowing that the anxiety you will feel when you get home is much different than the anxiety over the unknown right now, but it wont be a better kind of anxiety necessarily. Stay strong... stay smart... stay focused... wait, whats the Air Force thing: Fit, Focused, and Fighting for what's right... Do that! lol
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
How do you handle your w having pa with the next door neighbor and making no effort to hide it from you. She is over there everyday for one reason or another. Even the kids wonder why she is always over there. I guess she isn't trying to hide it to rub salt in the wound. And he is just as bad. Makes me want to go over there and kick his a**. Should I say something to either one or just swallow my pride and go on like nothing is happening?
