Thanks OP. Really appreciate all of your help. When I go to someone's thread, I do see all of their posts but I don't know how to just read their sitch. Like yours for instance. It shows all the replies and your sitch and I don't know if it is a reply to someone or it's your sitch.
I know that it is hard to be NC when children are involved but detachment is more your state of mind. You need to think that your WH has been in a car accident and can't speak anymore. So their is someone else speaking to your D13 telling her nonsense. You can change the subject with her or acknowledge what she is saying but you need to let it roll off your back. Detachment is the hardest thing to accomplish. But the most important. With out learning this lesson we can not get thru our stages of LBS. It is not something that you will be able to instantly do. But you can work on it.
For me the NC helped obtain this state. But it can be done by being dim. The other activities help. GAL, "act as if".
Work on being the best parent that you can be! Get involved with your children's activities as an adult supervisor.
I really want to recommend these books, and yes there are a few things in this list that contradict what we do here in MLC but overall it is really a good read.
To answer your question from my thread I did put that disclaimer on it. Remember he is talking about menopause not MLC. Although they are very similar they are not the same. That took me a while to understand but you can go thru one with out the other and vice versa.
All people go thru menopause not all people go thru MLC
AYK or anyone I can't find the thread about the stages of grief that we go through and it gives us the permission to hold out as long as we the LBS' want to.
