I know that it is hard to be NC when children are involved but detachment is more your state of mind. You need to think that your WH has been in a car accident and can't speak anymore. So their is someone else speaking to your D13 telling her nonsense. You can change the subject with her or acknowledge what she is saying but you need to let it roll off your back. Detachment is the hardest thing to accomplish. But the most important. With out learning this lesson we can not get thru our stages of LBS. It is not something that you will be able to instantly do. But you can work on it.
For me the NC helped obtain this state. But it can be done by being dim. The other activities help. GAL, "act as if".
Work on being the best parent that you can be! Get involved with your children's activities as an adult supervisor.
