I'm giving up, told W I'll sign at the end of FEB

[TooLateForMe]

I'm pretty sure she's lying about something. She told me she met this fella AFTER she broke up w/ me and that I don't know him.

She may be lying altogether about the guy, but I doubt that. The likelihood is that she met this person before I even left the apartment and that I do know him (though I may not have actually met him).

What I'm learning is that she doesn't actually have the moral high ground she wants me, and especially herself, to believe she has. The reality is that we both put ourselves into this situation.

It's time to start DBing for real. She's going to have to do all the D work on her own. I'm going to be the best me I can be, not give into depression and anger (though it's a struggle most days) and start appreciating my life and the people in it... including her.

I know now that she's just another WAW and I let the facts cloud my judgement. There may or may not have been a rape. Either way I've done some unpleasant things while intoxicated and have been a cad. I confessed to the one-night stand and now have no secrets. I'm starting new and don't expect the path to be smooth and some days will still be terrible, but I will survive.

There's a Latin phrase I recently found:

perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim :
Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you.