I don't remember her telling you that she was thru with the OM and that she was ready to recommit to the marriage relationship.
I understand that she's sending you all kinds of conflicting messages in your opinion.
Maybe she's conflicted.
I'm not sure your patience is conducive to doing what it takes to DB your marriage. I know you've heard it before, but you are getting FAR more positive vibes from your spouse that most people do on this board. Yet even without getting positive strokes from their absent spouses, many on here find a way to press on and keep that door open a crack.
You seem to vascillate back and forth between feeling like you got screwed over to feeling appreciative that your wife gives you the time of day at all. And the feeling appreciative part only seems to come after a few 2x4's here.
The worry about the OM IS something that you will have to deal with and put to rest at some point. But that point is not now because your wife has not asked to re-start your marriage yet.
Clearly she has reasons, some of them legitimate and some of them selfish on her part, for being hesitant to jump fully back in to your marriage. Until she says "please come home and let's work on this," you really don't have the authority to insist on anything regarding her past or current relationship with any other guys. Right now you are apart. Whether you stay that way or not depends alot on how you choose to react to the current situation.
I'm frustrated with you because I see lots of reasons to be encouraged (while still being cautious at the possibility that she actually is evil and vindictive enough that she could have been playing you all this time), and yet you are regularly DIS couraged.
I gotta say Brad, some are not cut out to handle this marital crisis stuff.
Are you?
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
