so I'm just spinning my wheels here. sposed to start new job in W-town may 1st. moving tomorrow. ending here april 17th. there is a job opportunity in new england doing cardiac surgery that SHE has said she really wants to check out. of course she does not want me to move in with her right now (small house) and I'm set to move into a house near her.
I feel she wants to check out this Mass job just to clear her conscience that she basically ruined my career.
but yesterday she called, texted, emailed, facebooked me... said she was missing me-- and were we still going to mass. and that maybe she wasn't sure she was done with having babies. and we watched lost together over phone.
then today when called about setting up the weekend up there (including staying a couple extra days in cape cod... her idea) we made the res... then she emails me saying "blessing in disguise. the address for the credit card didn't go through. so we can do it this weekend.
her voice this morning couldn't have sounded less thrilled about the trip. why would she want to go on a trip to mass with me, with second honeymoon weekend but yet not want me to move in. makes no sense.
I also do not think I will ever be able to trust her again. I will always have my doubts. We have no relationship. its all platitudes.
do I just bag this trip? she continues to string me along "move here, lets see how the next few months go." "lets wait until we get the tax return back to schedule the trip to mass" (its being paid for by the hospital anyhow)
she holds the cards... she makes the calls... she continues to mess with my mind.
I was detatching yesterday then she calls, emails, texts, facebooks... does all that stuff. what is that all about? it just seems so far gone.
I will always wonder about the relationship with OM--- especially when I get up there.
I have been GALing... walking to gym and shooting hoops-- trivia night, bowling last night
