I don't know anybody IRL that reconciled after a separation and I certainly don't know anybody that remarried after a divorce.
I know it happens but I don't think it is common.
I am not sure the WAS never gives the LBS a second thought even if they are with or married to somebody else but I would guess it is more just a fleeting thought and nothing more.
Based on all that I have read and witnessed I think most WAS are done when they say they are done and anything more is cake eating or an attemp to get the LBS "on board" with an easy divorce. I don't doubt for a second the WAS may be hurt of confused or in their own pain but when *most* (not all) people make the declaration they are done, well, they are.
After what my H put me through legally I would not reconcile with him under any circumstance. There is no way I could go through that again. I simply could not. I disagree totally with the "divorce is just a piece of paper". Maybe I feel that way because getting divorced in this state is a very long, difficult and costly process but once I signed my name to that paper that was it for me.
When I was signing the documents with my attny he was explaining to me what would need to happen if my H and I reconciled. I told him flat out once I sign my name that is it. No more. It's not even about the money but there is no way I could go through the emotional turmoil from a legal sense I did the first time around.
It's really tough because when you are the LBS, early on you feel all kinds of hope and promise. I felt the same thing. I thought my H was different (lol, he was so textbook it wasn't even funny). As an experienced LBS most of what I see is textbook and I can almost guess how things will go for "new LBS". It's terribly sad but reality.
I do think of my H from time to time and once in a while I still get kind of sad and sometimes really sad.
