WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

I have forgiven my W. I'm not finding it that hard to do, really. Because once we realize that God forgives us over and over and over again, and demands that we do the same, it becomes simpler.

My W IS confused. She is not really exhibiting any behavior toward me that I would expect from someone who has suddenly found God and is committing to Him. She's not mean or vindictive, but she hasn't shown the slightest inkling of reconciliation. I sometimes find it hard but I really have to hold my tongue on the whole "repent for your sins" preaching. It just seems crazy that she would take this step and not reconcile.

I can see your point, 25, that it would likely turn her completely off, even if she wanted a way back.

I noticed a charge on our credit card statement from an adult bookstore. I asked her about her shopping in a roundabout way, just saying we got a mailer from the store with her name on it. She just said "Hmm. Don't know how they got my name." And then made a joke about it being from all the times she shops there, to make it seem preposterous that they got her name.

So she still has no issue lying to my face, but maybe it's understandable that she would be embarrassed by that. Maybe it is a good sign that she's not "getting it" on the side, since it's been 8 months since we've been intimate.

I highly suspect she still sees the OM at lunches with her old work friends, one of which she had just this week. But I have no hard proof, and it doesn't matter anyway. If she can reconcile that with her baptism on Sunday, she has bigger problems than I can help her with.

It will be a very interesting Easter, to say the least. If the OM attends the service, I plan to do nothing out of the ordinary. I will not speak to him; if he has the courage to say a word to me, I will say nothing but "May the Lord be with you and your family". I will ignore anything else he says.