Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Gr8, For financial reasons she just wants it sold. Due to my lack of a job the past couple of years it was very difficult for us to afford it. After she moved out, I got myself together and can afford it now. Of course she still wants to sell though since we are S. I've been thinking what I should do here, buy her out or agree to sell. I have thought the same as you about buying another place to start fresh if W and I would reconcile. Decisions, decisions...

I actually have 3 counselors. One is my DB coach, one is my IC (jusy for me to work on my issues of depression and anxiety) and my 3rd counselor is a pro MC. I go to the MC between calls to my DB coach. Helps to keep me focused on the M and trying to see things though my W's POV.

I stopped asking for M advice from my IC. I just had some doubts that she was the best for giving me advice on what to do to save my M. She's a good IC but maybe not a great MC, you know what I mean? So I found a pro MC and he is very good. He does give me a few different pieces of advice from my DB coach. I like it though because it gives me several ways to think about the sitch and what I should do. My MC sometimes advises me to to do some things which are slightly pursuuing. I sort of figure a way to incorporate his suggesstions with the steps my DB coach gives me so it's not pursuing. I mostly follow the advice of my DB coach with the M. If my W ever wants to reconcile and go to MC, I feel good in that I have found a MC that I believe can really help us.

So to answer you question, yes, I did find myself teaching my IC about the DB techniques early on in the process. I discuss my DB coach's advice with my MC. He pretty much agrees with it and he offers many of the same techniques. He does offer some of his own ideas which helps me too.

Kind of crazy to have 3 counselors I guess. I feel it works best for me. My W doesn't even know I talk with 3 counselors. She just thinks I see the IC. It's just part of the effort I am making to work on myself and save my M. God knows I'm really trying.

I agree with you Gr8. Until the time comes when our Ws want to work to reconcile the M, I think it's best to follow the DB coach's advice. I look at it as the DB coach is there to help guide us through to get to the next step with our spouse. When the time comes for my W and I to work on M, I would think that would be the time to turn it over to the MC.