I am resurrecting my journal due to the fact that my husband has decided to leave at the end of may when our daughter is out of school. I am very upset at this decision and I wish he would fight for our family. I wish I knew what I did that was so awful..really..to constitute breaking up a family. I have never, would never and will not cheat on my husband..I have said it before and I mean it. I am Catholic and I take my vows very seriously. So cheating is out..I have not been emotionally abusive or physically abusive so thats out...I may have lied on the bills but really you can work on that type of stuff...I just dont see how people fall out of love. I dont. I think it is pure BS if you ask me. I love my husband but at this point there is nothing more I can do. I tried very hard to change. It was not good enough for him and that is sad. I have apologized to him so many times for my mistakes but his mind is made up. I have to let him go and I feel so sorry for our children..so sorry. I had so many plans for our future. Other than focus on myself and my children there is nothing in the world I can do and I hate feeling so helpless. I remember all our good times..he remembers only the bad. But he has made it clear he is 1000 percent done and he is barely talking to me right now...I dont know...Maybe it is for the best. Maybe he will be happy...I just wish I could get my old husband back. It is not my responsiblity to make him see what he is giving up anymore. I have been a loving and supportive wife. I have stuck by his side no matter what. If that is my downfall then so be it...at least I tried to save my family which is more than I can say for him.
