I do not think you screwed up by not showing your pain in weeping, etc. A man has to show stength around the WAW. Having good PMA is great in spite of what she says. Just don't "over-kill".....which I think some people do by trying too hard to show how upbeat they are.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I spent 99.8% of the weekend solid with my daughters. We all had a good time
When we were at a friend's kid's b-day party, I text-mailed some pics to W showing the girls milking cows, etc. She texted me back 'they're so cute'. Maybe I shouldn't have contact with her, I don't know. Should I 'go dark' again?
She was going to bring softball candy sale money over to the house Sunday, but d-15 and I took a motorcycle ride to the beach. (d-11 was still at friend's house)
I kept in a little bit of contact with some of my female friends, but I'm having trouble staying interested. At first I kinda liked the attention and 'adventure',(much like W, I'm sure), but after seeing W the other night, I'm having a harder time. I wish she were living back here, but not squirrelly and definitely 'in love' w/me again. Then again, I worry that she might never be "ok" and the further away from her I get, the better. But I have a hard time seeing that as good for my girls. (D-15 would be fine with it)
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
She came to daughter's softball game tonight. I was cordial, but not extra chummy or anything. She invited us out to her sister's annual country Easter egg hunt. (big production-lotsa kids)
I used to be quite comfy around her family, but she's got them acting 'funny' around me. I mentioned it to her and she said she had not been telling them the whole stories about various things-but that she has corrected that(I don't believe she has been completely honest)-she said she had not even heard things I said correctly in her 'alcoholic mind'.
She politely left it up to me and I said I'd consider it, but my mom had invited us out for dinner already.
She was also coming up with a bunch of other things to do with the girls. However, she already forgot she had earlier talked AGAIN about taking ONLY the youngest to the zoo this weekend. She had told d-15 earlier in the week that she was going to take d-11 only because of d-15's nasty text. I didn't bring it up.
I kept getting texts from some women. I would respond back when not standing by W (being polite)--but it still showed someone was interested in me.
The girls hugged and kissed her goodbye, and I didn't really mean to, but I didn't even say goodbye to her--I was getting in the truck.
Not sure what to do this weekend, though...
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
I miss W. I don't know if I should go to her sister's Easter thing or not. It might be a chance to get her to miss us as a couple, or it might just be uncomfortable and sad a lot. Or might be both...I can be pretty fun over there if I don't get down. On the other hand, W tends to want to help folks that are down. I think that's part of the attraction of OM--his low self-esteem. Maybe I'm going about this backwards in her case?
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
What about the girls ? They've always loved that party and I know they want to go...
If d-15 goes, there may be another argument (that's where they had one before) I think d-15 feels kinda safe; that her aunt (w's sister) would keep w from beating her in anger. I don't know that that's necessarily true, however, if she gets disrespectful. d-15 told me the last argument she kept her distance so her mom couldn't grab her.
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
That is why you need visitation/holiday schedules. If you were D then you would have to have some type of agreement about where or when the kids spent special occassions.
D15 is old enough to decide for herself, but if there is a chance of a "beating" then I would not allow my child to get near her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Maybe I'll let the youngest go and d-15 and I will go to my mom's. Either that, or d-15 will have to mind her tongue or stay away from her mom.
D-15 doesn't think too much of her mom right now and tells me I deserve better. I've been telling her she's just upset with her mom, and I'm not rushing out to the wife/momma store for a new 'replacement'. The girls keep telling me it's not too soon for me to bring someone around them and they encourage me to do so. I tell them they may think that, but it would bother them, they just don't realize it right now.
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
Maybe I'm going to take us all out to my mom's for dinner.
1. W will miss them at her thing, but can't have OM & family ok on the side
2. d-15 will not get in argument or worse 3. W can't just try to change our plans 4. kids may be disappointed, tho 5. But I'll get to be w/girls all day (even after church and butterfly release)
what do you think?
M:48 W:35 S:16 D:15 D:10 Md: 12 & 1/2 years bomb: Jan 8 ? she moved out about then also Moved in w/OM soon after
