Wow, this sounds like a very tough situation you are going through. You certainly don't deserve it, and I'm sorry it's going on. It's hard to say what you should do right now. You were not wrong to protect yourself when your husband laid his hands on you. Too bad that he doesn't like the consequences of his own actions. You had to do what was best and safest at the time for you and your children. His behavior was inexcusable in every way.
It hurts a lot to have a relationship fall apart. You should be proud of yourself for returning to school because it will help you in the future with or without your H. It's possible your H will come through this midlife crisis and come back to you, but it also seems possible that you will not trust him in the future due to his erratic behavior, violence, and attempts to get together with OW. I think you should think about his temper above all when you think about the future of you and your children.
Can he control it? Will he work on it? He sounds like he is in quite a fog right now. Hugs and luck to you. You sound like a very patient and kind woman.
