beginning to see the real W

[Dr LOve]

You and I need to go out for a drink buddy... Yes I agree with you. I do feel we are at that tipping point.

I am NOT making excuses for her but my wife's fling...And I call it that because is was NOT a long term thing in fact as far as I know it only happened one time.
But anyway her fling was not caused my me. I may have not heard her "cry for help" but she keeps her feeling to herself and I was always there if she needed me.
She had / has problems with her feeling of self worth. I am finely seeing a sparkle in her again. She is finely stopped talking about how over weight she is. She is finely doing something about her concern about being overweight.
The other day she mentioned about this empty brick boarder by our driveway. I have been meaning to someday widen the driveway so I never planted anything there. Well she mentioned it would be nice to have some flowers there. So I thought in my head. ‘We have no money right now to widen the driveway so why not?’
She helped me pick some flowers at the store to plant there.
Now on the surface this may not seem like a big thing but wife has not really cared about how the outside of the house looked in a long time. She just sat in her office most of the time complaining about being Fat.
So you see she is now not only concerned again about what she looks like… she is also taking interest in the house to.
In The picture I found of her with the OM she did not look very happy. Who knows what really happened. Maybe she had too much to drink; maybe once it got out of hand she did not know how to stop it. She did tell me that when she went to see him she was not planning on having sex with him and “all that did was cloud up the water” whatever that means
I believe wife’s problem with sex has nothing to do with me aside from me not “getting any”
So that is what we / I / she need to work at.
If she had a fear of flying I would not force her to get on a plane.
Now should I give up “flying” just because she has a fear of it? No but what I can do is put her at ease. Not pressure her...and sooner or later we will be flying and she won’t even realize it.

As far as pulling away? Well let me also say that I was a “good husband” meaning I went to work (same place as my wife worked, came home, worked around the house I did whatever was needed. I never went out by myself, didn’t hang around my buddies...I was a pretty “safe” husband.
But now I have my own life. I am starting school; I am going to be meeting people. Did I mention this is a co Ed college? There will be activities…This is all a 180 for me. Wife knew when I went to work what was going on. But she will have no idea what is going on when I am at school. (Not that I am planning on anything “happening”. But it will loosen that security feeling she has had.
BTW she has been great telling me I should buy this or that for school, Telling me how when she gets a job she is going to really have to hustle to get son to the bus in the morning. She now takes him and in the past would have somehow (or maybe it was just me feeling this way) make it my problem how he was getting to school. Today she told me I need to teach her how to use the carpet cleaner because she wants to clean them... In the past she would have just hinted to me that it needs to be done.

SHE IS COMING OUT OF HER FOG, HER IMAGINARY WORLD, HER POOR ME MODE..

Now she still has her days but don’t we all? What I need to work on is when she has “her days” to not let it affect mine or my attitude…