How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

OK. Well, you have two choices then.

1. You can talk to the father
2. You can turn away from him and show him up to his daughter

He's clearly lying to you. He tells you its no one else's business and then in private he counsels her against you? Does he KNOW that you are aware of the secret advice he's been trying to send her?

I am just wondering if you called him or it or if won't do any good. I don't expect you to win him over.

I just wonder if you just sat with him and asked him to give you a chance and to back off if he would. I dunno .. It's his daughter... and I guess the mother in law is telling her daughter the same story?

You may just have to keep up the good work and believe that your wife loves you enough still that she will give you that chance. You are making a dent, you have acknowledged that... you will have to keep trying... either that or approach FIL to back off.. but you write as if you don't think that's an option.

If you can't trust him then no sense trying... but if you think it might do some good to ask him to stop meddling behind your back... Maybe he doens't see what he's doing is having any impact and you need to explain to him that it DOES... It's all based on how much you trust him and how adult he is about this whole thing... you have to gauge that.

I approached him twice since the sitch began. The first time he did sound upset and hoped we worked it out and said "I love you" the second time he was giving hidden messages as if I should just give up "end the end you guys got to do what makes you happy and accept it for what it is." After that I knew talking to him would be a lost cause.


Each time I admitted my faults and expressed my love for his daughter.