Well tonight went badly. H basically overpowered me, took my phone, and erased all my recordings. So instead of going the non-violent route of stopping arguing with me when I pulled out the phone to voice record he decided to go the violent route of wrestling the phone from me, running away to lock himself in the bathroom, and deleting the files from my phone.
When he got my phone from me I ran to his study, grabbed his phone (and was super glad it was sitting there and wasn't in his pocket or something, would have had to go to the neighbors and cause a scene otherwise), and called the most recent number on his list, his mother, to let her know what was going on and that I needed help. She called H's father to come to our house but H had already taken off by then. They are all very disturbed by this. But I am so glad I let them know what was going on the moment it happened, I can't keep stuff like this a secret especially.
He wants no one to know what's going on because he wants to accept no personal responsibility for his behavior. He is in a fury at me because I am basically forcing him to accept responsibility for his behavior by outing him to his peers. He can pretend and make excuses when it's all contained to the bubble of our home, but it's a whole different story when things are out in the open. He is responding rather unpleasantly to this (an understatement, I know).
Thank god I am seeing the L tomorrow because this is more than enough for me. H is a big guy, almost six and a half feet tall, and I just don't feel safe with him behaving like this. He used his size and strength to overpower me and get what he wanted, which was my cell phone. I am wondering if (or when) he'll overpower me for my computer next. I can't live with this kind of insecurity.
How could it have taken me so long to see how controlling he is? He was all happy yesterday and the day before when he felt he had me contained with his false apologies and promises, but once he learned I was still going to go out, GAL, seek support, and talk to my friends despite his "I'm so sorry" speech, he blew up again.
What were you saying about a dealbreaker of a spat, Allen? Except I think this one is a dealbreaker for ME.
