Hi Hope4luv..I just finished reading your entire thread over here in piecing. I find many similarities in our situations. My H has the same abusive tendencies that your H has displayed. I have confirmed that my H was involved in a full blown A..which has been going on for almost 2 years...which is little bit different than your sitch..but still an addiction.
I admire the way you have handled yourself. It is so difficult to always be the person to diffuse the situation..tip toeing around all the time..constantly watching what you say to avoid a "you don't make any sense when you talk".."what are you talking about"..or any other 'talk down' that they feel like tossing your way.
I also can relate to how you always need to watch what you do to avoid your H getting angry. You almost lose yourself in the process..making your decisions based on how you expect your H to react. You can insert my dogs for your cats..and poop for pee- and we are telling the same tale. Always critical but never offering to help..or solving any problems that arise..just nice enough to point out what you are doing wrong. After awhile you cannot help but think there is something very wrong with you..why else would the man you love be treating or talking to you this way?
Don't be too hard on yourself for losing it at times. When you get punched in the gut over and over again..it is hard to not want to put up your hands to protect yourself..and even throw a punch back here and there. I have regretted punching back in the past..it isn't who I am..and I am always disappointed with myself afterwards. There is a fine line between take the high road and being a doormat..not sure if I have figured any of this out yet..but it sounds like you are well on your way..as am I.
