It's ok mr bond, the affair was quite mild from the sounds of OIN's investigation.
I don't think she even thinks it was an affair to be honest... I think she's still young and doesn't know fully what infidelity IS.
Part of the problem with the pavlov's dog model in d-busting is that the dog is not RESISTANT to the test.
With a wayward SPOUSE you have to work a LOT harder and it can take WEEKS to get a response. There are things I did for months and I saw NO change from it... BUT my wife told me after the affair ended that it made a huge difference to her.. she just was too proud and stubborn to say anything.
I honestly am very hesitant to make assessments about a WS based on a few months' of d-bing
I DO agree that this is about changing perception... but you may not SEE ANY indicator that this perception was changed.. It can take a VERY long time to see those changes have any impact.
Conversely, if she DOENS"T like what you're doing, you will likely find out right away.
My main point is, don't expect any smiles from her for a long time.. you seem to use HER behavior to motivate you... you need to motivate yourself.. you need to WANT to be a good person.. you can't just want to be a good person to keep HER smiling.
I know it feels hopeless, but you gotta fight past that... she's TESTING you EVERY day.
