WAW and me in 11th hour!!!!

[Ken62]

Well the BD dinner and concert with W went very well. I was upbeat as I waited in her apartment for her to get ready and on the drive down. The common theme seems to be that she is having a lot of bad days and that she wants to blame it on her ADD medicine not working very well. (I have a different idea on why she is so scattered and having so many bad days but I didn't say anything! )

Dinner was nice. It was a record 82 here yesterday so we sat outside. No R talk and no M talk! Just light and fluffy conversation. I did mention that I was invited to a party Friday night by a mutual lady friend of ours that she doesn't like all that much and that another mutual friend was trying to fix me up with a woman she knows and W also asked about my lady friend.

W talked about her moving back for the summer and that the more she thinks about it the more she is questioning if it is a good idea. Of course everyone wants her to come back which is the main reason she is going back but it's as if she is going to be doing all kinds of things for everyone back there and nothing for herself.

Our S is coming home in a few weeks and she tried her darnedest to get him to switch his visit so she could go back home that weekend and audition at the local dinner theater. She seemed pretty ticked that he wouldn't listen to her and change his dates. That's another thing that I have noticed with her. She seems to have VERY strong opinions on what the kids should be doing and tries to force her opinion/will on them and she really seems to hate it when they don't follow her lead. Is that a WAW symptom like DB coach Chuck was saying? Is this the play/drama of one and the kids aren't "following her script"? It sure seems like it.

I had left the card in the car so after dinner we drove to the arena for the concert and before we got out of the car I gave her the card. She said that she liked it and when we both got out of the car she gave me a big hug. We then went into the arena and I bought her a BD drink and we had our picture taken and waited for the concert to start.

I had a great time and felt much better about everything than I did at the Elton John/Billy Joel concert last month. I feel that I have detached and I did NOT have the urges I had last month to want and touch her. I was able to enjoy myself more and she seemed like she was able to also but not as much as I was. She did get some texts from OM but I acted like I didn't see it or didn't care which is more or less true.

She was talking about how bad her day had been and I kept telling her that we would certainly try and fix that tonight by having a great time. We drove back to the house to see if her present had arrived and it hadn't so I drove her back to her apartment and we had part of a big cupcake from the restaurant and then we talked a little and I left. Went to the door and said goodbye and didn't ask for a hug and she didn't offer to give one which I thought was interesting but I din't let it get to me because I had a great night and it kind of felt like going out with a co-worker or friend instead of my W.

Should I be concerned that I'm not finding her as attractive as I used to or is this a good sign? I really think that this sitch is having a negative impact on her because she talked about crying in front of D. I also tried to validate some of the things that she had mentioned last Saturday night.

She called today to talk about medical insurance and I needed to talk to her about this anyway because our insurance is changing tomorrow. I also set up an appointment for her to meet me at the bank on Saturday morning because we need to get a signature seal or some such thing to remove her from the mutual funds. I asked about when she wanted her present and she said that I could bring it on Saturday morning.

The other thing that I have noticed is that she is fixated on what we are going to do on Easter. She keeps asking if I have plans and do I want to have brunch at her apartment complex with D. I keep telling her that I am wide open to doing anything but she doesn't seem to want to make a decision.

My goal is to try and go dark again and not initiate contact. It should be interesting though with Easter and then my BD next Tuesday but I'm really busy with rehearsals for a show I'm in, singing in the choir for Holy Thursday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday and next week is tech/Hell week for the show so I am busy every night and the show opens on Thursday and runs through Sunday. D is planning on going but I don't know if W will go with her or not. I also have to get taxes done this weekend so it should be fun!

That's about it. Let me know where I screwed up, I can take it and I always need it!