How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

My W actually does not call me names ect. (at least not to my face). My W also doe snot use profanity.

I think she is checking my phone because she thinks I might be retaliating back at her. Meaning if I thought she was having an A, she thinks I would do the same to get make it even.

She also thinks if its OK for me to talk to OMW, how is that different from her talking OM. I could give her 100 reasons but she still thinks what she was doing is nothing more than a "friendship" and is not wrong for doing it.

I need to gain control of my emotions when situations get tense. Every once in a while I slip back into the mindset that my feelings should matter to her.