there was more to the convo probably but above is the basic gist...i was re-reading it and it does sound pretty basic. I didn't want to give husband too much during the convo so I tried to hold back. I don't want to walk out EVERY step for him. I really mean that he needs to figure this out on his own. If I am around when he figures it out, Great, if not, also GREAT :-)
You have the right attitude for sure.
You handled the convo great.
I gave you some alternate suggestions if another call comes in... feel free to use any of them.
Believe me I understand how hard it is to think on the spot, its a LOT easier for me to read a convo and type out some smart a$$ answers in front of a keyboard.. don't worry if any of mine sound any better.
You stood your ground and controlled yourself. You didn't let him in, that's the important part.
I dunno about the "I feel better after talking to you." He shouldn't feel better.. he should feel like crap.
If HE comes to talk to YOU and HE feels better afterwards it was just another selfish exchange and he was after something yet again... just another sociopathic transaction.
Your H needs to learn that every convo isnt' about HIM feeling better afterwards. What kind of PARENT is he going to be to a child when they start learning by observing? I can't imagine you want your child growing up to talk to people in order to FEEL better about themselves... is that the basis for a social skill set for a child?
"We talk to people in order to make us feel better."
If you follow that through then people won't talk to anyone if they feel like the conversation will be at all uncomfortable. It is just a ticket to run.
Anyhow, I am rambling and you likely already know this...
He's saying the right things for the most part. But he's DONE NOTHING... so at the moment your best conclusion is that he's trying to charm you again and get a free pass back into marriage... that's the optimistic conclusion.
And even THAT ain't all that hot.
You have the right idea. You just throw him the odd finger pointing him in a better direction, but don't put too much time into him. Every minute into him is a minute away from you and your son.
I can't think of a snappy comeback for the "I feel better after having talked with you" line... I will have to think on it.. or maybe you can post one here that you like.
Great convo though.. I think you handled that really well.
