Well, you set the boundary, he crossed it..and so the consquences are served up to him.

Doesn't matter if he gets mad or not, separate the behavior from the person, and let the chips fall where they may.

I was once like you, people's opinions mattered to me...I'm not a "bad" person because people's opinions of me no longer matter, I will do as I need to when I need to do it because it is affecting MY life, not someone else's....but you have to understand people are going to form their opinions regardless of what you do or say...and not everyone is going to think the same way you do.

Simply put, they do NOT have to live your life, YOU DO.

Confrontation itself, is not an easy thing, but has to be done, sometimes, so you will have more of a peace of mind about yourself.

Otherwise, if you keep allowing people to dictate to you, and manipulating you into buying into THEIR version of how things are done, you'll feel resentful and angry..and that's NO good.

People will generally have to get glad in the SAME britches they got mad in...or not.

Speaking of boundaries, have you ever noticed a small surge of anger that comes up when someone does something that you don't like them to do to you?

There's a reason it is there..warning you to protect yourself, emotionally or otherwise.

The reason boundaries won't work for MLC is this: the MLC'er is so far within the tunnel they simply IGNORE anything that would "tell them what to do."
Yet, they are shocked when the consequence threatened is carried out, often turning on the LBS, and trying to make him/her feel guilty for drawing the line, and trying to get them to back down or away so the bad behavior can continue. Never mind the behavior that is called to the carpet is WRONG. Similar to an adolescent that is testing the waters of independence, they react the SAME way as toward a parent/guardian...it is all construed as 'control' and they run farther away from what they perceive as an authority figure.

Sadly, it's usually the LBS they are running from, having perceived them as "mother" "father".

Consequences will get them in the end; it's a fact of nature..and you won't have anything to do with that.


All you can do is what you know is best for you, and continue to leave them twising in the wind, riding the rollercoaster, or whatever they are doing that's hurting themselves.

Again, don't let it suck you in...you'll get badly hurt.

Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.