beginning to see the real W

[MrBond]

There was something I read early on in my own journey about "tipping points". How each little experience positive or negative we go through builds and comes to a high point which becomes our perception of something which in turn guides our thoughts and actions.

I think you've pumped alot of positives into your W's emotional pit and it's going to be time soon to push her into some kind of action. It's been building and I think you've filled her "love bank" to the point where she needs to initiate something.

Have you thought of really pulling back and see if she gets closer? Or initiates any intimacy or action at all? I know you told her before that she needs to make a "choice". But maybe she needs a small step before making a choice.

Maybe offer a suggestion like "remember when you used to do xxx for me? I really appreciated it then and you enjoyed it. It would be nice to do it again."

In this case, you left it up to her initiative and you're not sounding like you need it. It also suggests that since you both found it enjoyable, you might find it enjoyable again.

Worth a shot. I know how you feel about being the only one doing the work. I've been trying to back off a bit myself and see what she does.