ALL your thoughts are welcome. And I can be honest here so I will say, that eventhough the schock yesterday was a...big one, I made a BIG issue out of it, to "show him" his way isnt working.
And I used a different way, not initiating discussion, not analysing it, not requesting from him anything. And he responded. He called, called my friend (whose reaction shocked him-she basically told him to look elsewhere to validate his feelings/ideas on this because to her what I want is #1 priority and it should be his also), talked to me and while talking offered details etc etc. Still, I havent changed my mind, I still insist I am sick and tired of the lies and I am not putting up with it. I told him the filth, the horrible smell of all this (meaning his lies' his sister's role etc etc) choked me and I cant breathe anymore.
Just like my bff advised me, the power has shifted again. And I feel it is a good time to set some strict rules. I can always walk away. I can always sugarcoat things. It is hard to identify positive steps ahead when so much emotion is involved. I am clearing my head again. In my state of mind, I can see wrong better than right.
Just like Saffie, I need all the info. For the record, Bbj, I have all the details about what went on in bed, it is other, less harmful things that I need to know. I want us to do both: Move forward and then when something comes up, deal with it. There is no way, our R can get strong when we keep avoiding delicate issues. Also, again like Saffie says, if I do start feeling better, I would hate to go back and be flooded with pain again down the road... like it happened yesterday.
I dont know if he is emotionally abusive. I am not aware of all the patterns and I question the labelling. See, I am a former abusive person... K
